The Law of Kindness is on her lips

Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing. 1 Thessalonians 5:11

Do you know an encourager? A person who always tries to say something that makes you feel confident in what you are attempting?

I am not an encourager by nature but some people are. It comes very naturally for them to speak words that make us feel we are indeed able to do a difficult task.
Or make us feel that the most mundane acts are great accomplishments.

They just make you feel good.

I have a daughter who is a natural encourager. She amazes me and makes my heart swell.

Many years ago she was diagnosed with a seizure disorder. Epilepsy. For a while we had the wind knocked out of us but we got up and worked hard to make sure the doctors would be wrong about some of the things they told us. She won't read, she will have trouble with memory, she won't be able to ride a bike because of balance, she will have learning disorders that will cause delay. All of it proved untrue.

And we prayed. And prayed. And prayed. She would go for years without a seizure and we would be confident there would never be another one...... but there were.

Then the EEG was normal and the MRI was too. She was seizure free and we were so happy that she could get a driver's license.

She has a job and is a college student. Life seemed 'normal'. Then the headaches started and she was having them everyday. The doctor visits began again. Then another seizure and a visit to the neurologist. And he told us what I expected but not what we wanted to hear.

No driving. For six months. She would need to get a ride to work and to school and to anywhere else she wanted to go.

But she smiled through it all and when I asked her about it we talked about another woman who couldn't drive. My husband's grandmother.

She is 93 and has survived cancer, had two brain surgeries and is blind and almost deaf. She started loosing her sight almost 20 years ago and stopped driving about 15 years ago. We had just visited her a few days before and she had told us that she loved to drive and missed driving so much.

And my sweet girl said she thought of her and how she will never drive again but that at least she had only lost her driving privilege for six months. Always so positive.

Then yesterday her younger sister had to pick her up from work and take her to class. They were running late and the driver is afraid of the interstate. But she decided to take it anyway so her sister wouldn't be late to class. She was nervous and scared and feeling she wasn't doing very well when her sister told her what a great driver she was and how well she was doing.

She can't drive but instead of being angry at others who can, someone who may not be doing something as well as she can, she speaks words of encouragement.

I want to be like my daughter.

She opens her mouth with wisdom,
And on her tongue is the law of kindness. Proverbs 31:26

Forty days and forty nights

"By the sweat of your face
you shall eat bread,
till you return to the ground,
for out of it you were taken;
for you are dust,
and to dust you shall return."
Genesis 3:19

What is Ash Wednesday?

Wikipedia says :

'Ash Wednesday derives its name from the practice of placing ashes on the foreheads of adherents as a sign of mourning and to God. The ashes used are typically gathered after the palms from the previous year's Palm Sunday are burned.'

It is officially the start of Lent. There are seven Sundays in Lent, the last two being Palm Sunday and Easter. Traditionally Lent is marked by fasting, praying and alms giving.

Some years we have tried to observe Lent and I have given up vices such as chocolate and soda but most of the time I just don't follow through.

Partly I think it is because I really don't take Lent seriously.

Maybe it is because, in a perverse way, I really dislike doing what the masses are doing just because someone tells them too.

Or perhaps it is because the first time I was exposed to Lent was when we were living in Germany and there was a Mardi Gras celebration on Base. It was a night of revelry, drunkenness and excess. I now believe Mardi Gras can be redeemed and isn't bad in and of itself, but it is like our philosophy when we lived in Las Vegas, enjoy the good and throw out the bad.
Then, the next day, I saw some of the friends who were drunkest and wildest with ashes on their foreheads. They didn't wipe or wash them off but left them for all to see. I had always gone to a Methodist church and had never seen this before. It was quite interesting to me.

Then, after noticing the ritual for a few years, I decided to research it and find out why some Christian denominations observed Lent.

And, through the years, I have had friends who observed lent and I could ask them questions about it. It was intriguing that some of them said they 'cheated' on their Lenten fasts and others always succeeded in keeping their fasts.

Of course, as homeschoolers, we had to try participating in Lent and have, on and off, several times. We also did a Christian passover seder, once, but that is a story for another time.

I am sure there are very devout Christians who grow in their walk with Christ by observing Lent and don't look at the observance as a work they are doing but a work that Christ is doing in them.
It is just hard for me to not look at Lent as a ritual. And when people proclaim what they are giving up for Lent it is hard for me not to think of this scripture:

"But when you fast, anoint your head and wash your face, that your fasting may not be seen by others but by your Father who is in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will reward you."

Matthew 6:17-18

So, I may or may not be observing Lent and, if I am, I am not going to tell you what I am fasting from.

"Then Jesus was led up by the Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted by the devil. And after fasting forty days and forty nights, he was hungry." Matthew 4:1-2

It's Here

God moves in a mysterious way, His wonders to perform.
He plants his footsteps in the sea, and rides upon the storm.
William Cowper

October seems like a long time ago.
But I remember sitting with two lovely friends on a Sunday afternoon.
One was an old friend and the other new, and we were talking about our lives.
Both of them shared trials they were going through and I remember saying,
"I feel like our family is living the calm before the storm".


Yeah well....

The storm is here. It arrived and I knew it because I was waiting for it.

I hope it is a tornado and will blow through and make a mess and be over quickly.
But I think it may be a hurricane. If it is, it will make a mess, then the 'eye' of the storm will pass over and all will be calm for a very short time, then before it will be over, we will have to make it through the other side of the storm.

Whatever it is it is not pleasant.

It is hard to keep my spirits up all the time during this storm. But I try to 'do the next thing'. If I start to think about what the future holds, or doesn't hold, I get anxious and I worry. I know I shouldn't and that worrying about something doesn't change it or make it happen. Sometimes I just get depressed and sometimes I just get tired.
And sometimes I don't feel like doing anything--much less the next thing.

Life is just hard sometimes.

We have so much to do to get our house ready to put on the market--probably going to have to put it up for sale before I do all that I would like to. Anna is working on things for her graduation without much help from me. We are going to Virginia for spring break and have a list of things to get done while we are there. Tracy is applying for jobs and constantly working on his resume.

I have been cleaning, sorting, donating and tossing for weeks. We had boxes of things we have moved around for years that needed to be sorted through and stuff that we just needed to get rid of. We have gone through our bookshelves twice in the last month to clear off the shelves and decide on what to keep and what to give away. Goodwill has to love our family by now.
And there is still more to go.

We aren't involved in the wedding planning that much so that is a relief. We do have to get something to wear though and Anna still needs a special dress for her graduation. There is just so much to do and some drama that we could do without.

Life is just hard sometimes.

But I can find joy in so much of the stress. I am thankful that I am walking through this with a man who is strong and positive. My sweet husband is so motivated about getting a new job and so excited to be 'finally' retiring. He is relieved that he won't have to deploy again and that we won't have to move unless we want to. He is also excited that he can get a tractor, eventually.

My daughters are so excited to be moving near family and constantly talk about the chickens we are going to have and the pig and goats they want. Umm...we shall see.

My sons are busy with their lives and living responsibly and going to church and loving the Lord and making us proud.
I know our children are watching us as we weather this storm and I pray that we can be wise and strong and faithful.

Mostly I find joy in the fact that God is in the boat with us. He can calm this storm if He thinks that is best.

Our life has been marked by storms like the one we are in, but the best part of walking with the Lord is looking back and seeing where we have been.

He is faithful, there is always an end to the storm, it is over eventually.
Then we clean up the mess it made.

And occasionally, after a storm, some things are damaged beyond repair and we have to decide if we should rebuild or replant or just toss it out. Nothing in life stands still unless it is dead and sometimes storms come to keep us from growing stagnant, to force us to do things we need to but have neglected.

So, I give thanks for this storm, even though I want to hide under the covers and stay in bed.

'And I'll praise you in this storm and I will lift my hands. For You are who You are no matter where I am. and every tear I've cried You hold in your hand. You never left my side and though my heart is torn I will praise You in this storm'
From Praise You in this Storm by Casting Crowns