Meditations for a new year

Today I have been reflecting on the year behind us.

Honestly, I won't be sorry to see it go.

It really wasn't an enjoyable year and held more than a fair amount of changes.

I have struggled for years with depression, and with dealing with issues in my past, and this year broke me.

Truly.

For a period of time I just lost all trust and hope in God, in family, friends, and in the future.

So, at the end of this year, I feel like I have been wrestling with God for months. I am tired and ready to ring in a new year, hopefully one that is filled with laughter, peace, and hope.

Perhaps I will be able to attend church again this year. I long to go again but I am truly afraid of tearing my newly healed wounds open.
Time heals, and this may be proving true for me, but still I am waiting and fearful.

It just feels like it is too soon to try to get involved in a church family again.
Before we moved to Virginia we struggled to find a church and to fit into a church body; we had such a desire for family since we were so far from our immediate family.
We just couldn't find a place that felt like home and that was so frustrating. I realize that God was teaching us through that, and that we grew tremendously because of it. We didn't neglect the scriptures, or prayer, but many times we just felt like 'misfits'.

In the last few months the Lord has brought me back to His word and to 'my first love'.

Over the years I had read so many things that had confounded my thinking and influenced our homeschooling and our family life. God has indeed helped me to see that many, if not most, of those ideas were not His best.
Being in a culture that had standards of holiness based upon works creates very judgmental people.
The guilt I felt, on more than one occasion, because I knew that my life fell short of the high standards set by home school gurus, and people at our church, was overbearing. I felt there was no one to talk to or to share my struggles with.
Having home schooled for years, and in many states, the culture we left when we moved here was by far the most Pharisaic.
I have often said that no one would pay to go to a home school conference if the speakers stood up and said:

"If you are homeschooling your children do it because God has called you to, or because you have truly thought about education, and have a philosophical idea about what education is.
Do not do it because you think your children will be smarter, more holy, more polite, or the best at everything they do.
Do not do it if you think that by keeping your children from the influence of the world, not watching certain television shows, reading certain books, or wearing certain clothes your children will be holy little saints who do not, and have no desire to, sin.
If you home school you will still have to deal with sin in your household, especially the sin of pride. You will not be able to protect your children from the sin in their own hearts and, if you fellowship much in homeschooling groups and churches with lots of home school families, you will have to deal with the issue of 'white washed tombs', or little Pharisees.
Remember that the the Pharisees that Jesus condemned were once children who had studied the Torah and followed the laws and traditions set forth by the church to the extent that they had become leaders in the synagogue. But their hearts were unclean, they judged others, they made a show of worshiping God by wearing the 'right' clothes and saying the 'right' words, and most grievous of all they mocked and rejected the Messiah.
Remember, also that Jesus himself stated 'He who loves much is forgiven much but he who is forgiven little loves little.' (Luke 7:47)"

I realize that all home schooling families are not the same and many teach their children that their works are not attributed as righteousness. Our own family struggled with this issue many different times. We were led astray more than once by teachings that promised ideals here on this earth and we regret many of our decisions that were based on those teachings.

But this is not just a problem in the home school community. It is a problem in the Christian community. Church should be a place where people come to be loved, and to learn about Jesus, and to be accepted even in their deepest, darkest sins.

Sadly, many churches are not this way. As soon as a person reveals certain struggles they are marked and not counted as holy. It has always interested me that some struggles are acceptable to discuss and people have compassion for the offender, but others are unacceptable and treated as nonredeemable.

So, this is what my heart is meditating on today. As the new year comes I want to be cleansed of all the old teachings I received and accepted that have caused me to judge others as holy or acceptable or even striving to better themselves, (are you judging me? I am not proud of this).

And I long to attend church again but just don't feel I am ready.
Pray for me.

Tradition! Tradition!

For years our family put up the Christmas tree the day after Thanksgiving.
And many times we opened gifts on any day but Christmas day-sometimes because Tracy would be deployed for the holidays, and sometimes just to keep Christmas day peaceful.

We always tried to go to church on Christmas eve if there was a service nearby to attend.

We had certain favorite foods for Christmas and Easter. And always had a red velvet 'birthday' cake for Jesus.

We didn't go trick or treating (sorry- even if I didn't feel Halloween was a celebration of darkness I couldn't in good consciousness let my children go to people's houses and ask for a treat for doing nothing and make a threat if they didn't get one.)

Thanksgiving meant a beautiful table with five kernels of corn at each place setting and a discussion of what we were most thankful for that particular year.

So, over the years we have tried to establish our own traditions. Things that our children would remember and think of as our family ways. As a homeschooling and a military family we tried to make things special for our children in our own ways. Each move meant unpacking quickly to set up house so that things would feel 'normal' in a new place.

And perhaps we have been a bit too philosophical about them. I mean does it really hurt anything to let your kids believe in Santa Claus or the Easter Bunny? And if your kids want to dress up as angry birds and go to the church 'trunk or treat' party is that such a big deal?
I guess I am just getting older and tired of thinking about things too much.

But, I also don't have children I am responsible for anymore.

I think we all have to make decisions based on our consciences and convictions when it comes to these celebrations and activities.

Traditions can be wonderful or they can be horrible if they bind us and we follow them without conscience.


I know I couldn't bear the thought of erring to the side of darkness or sin.

And I have to live with that.

I made mistakes as a parent and I live with them e.v.e.r.y. day.

Sometimes I grieve over some of those mistakes.

I think that perhaps I idolized my children and just tried too hard to make their lives what mine never was, and what I thought a child's life should be.

And I think one of my greatest failings was trying to make my convictions their convictions.

I wanted them to grieve over sin in all ways, to be convicted that their lives and actions should glorify the God of the Universe.

And I honestly thought that Jesus, the Holy one of God, would not be glorified if they read books glorifying witches, warlocks and vampires.

And I have been thinking about that some lately, about why Tolkien is okay and Rowling is not. Why C.S. Lewis taking us into Narnia is acceptable and Stephanie Meyer's tales transporting us to Forks, Washington are not.

Worldview. That's what I hear somewhere in my head.

But it really doesn't matter now.
What's done is done.
I said no to certain books based on my conscience and I am not sorry.

And, so, now my adult daughters and I are enjoying reading the Harry Potter series together.
They are adults and still enjoy having me read to them each evening. We are having so much fun learning about Harry's world together. Discussing allegory we see that may, or may not, be intended, laughing at the British wit, and just enjoying sharing this together.

I don't think we will be reading about vampires anytime soon however.

Marvelling at the ordinary

It snowed last night and we drove down the driveway to see the house lit up and decorated in the snow.
It was really beautiful.
When I think of the mercy God has shown us this year I am over come with gratitude. He has been so faithful to us.
Our gracious God.
We are 'aspiring to lead a quiet life, mind our own business, and to work with our own hands' (1 Thess. 4:11). And marveling at simple things, enjoying the creation, and finding contentment in sweet fellowship with each other and the ones we love.
Giving thanks today for:

• cardinals
• a dead sparrow found dead at our door that reminds us that 'not a sparrow falls' (Matt. 10:29)
• laughter with those we love
• uplifting piano music
• a new door
• hoar frost
• piles and piles of leaves that mean we have many, many deciduous trees
• songs in the shower
• daughters who study Biology together with light in their eyes
• being asked to read aloud to my adult daughters

Our building project is finished.
And it is a little anti-climatic.
The movers brought our household goods and I had no idea we had so much. Really, why does anyone have so much?
I have cleaned, moved,organized and unpacked and finally got the garage unpacked. We need shelves out there or we will only be able to park on one side.
We decorated for Christmas the day after Thanksgiving and the house looks so festive. But I am having a hard time enjoying it because I keep thinking about taking it all down and putting it away.
It really seems that A.L.L. I have done this entire year is sort, pack, unpack and organize....
I am so thankful for all the joyful help we have had to get to this point. It was so much more fun when sang, laughed, joked and teased.
A joyful heart is good medicine.

Sometimes the serenity of this place overwhelms me.
Sky and clouds and mountains and trees.
The absolute beauty of creation.
Everywhere I look there is something living.
It is still now as the creatures out my window are safely in their nests and resting places. Even the sheep are huddled together in their shelter for warmth.

Peace quiets my heart and mind and the day fades into shadow.

May the glory of the LORD endure forever; May the LORD rejoice in His works. Psalm 104:31

Thanks Giving

It seems everyone is falling in line on Facebook and posting what they are thankful for each day in November.

I think it's a wonderful thought and I am so glad that my friends are taking the time to be thankful.

But it is not for me. Some thing's are too beautiful for words and would feel trite.

And, I just feel rebellious and don't want to follow suit.

I don't want to have traditions that other people establish.

So, I am not participating in the thanks giving on FB. I just want my thankfulness not to feel forced. I want to truly be thankful for all things and not just good things.
I want my life to be a life of thankfulness and praise to the Creator.

I want to *walk* in thankfulness.

To be so much in each moment that the thankfulness overwhelms me.
Posting each day on FB is a great idea and I am glad that someone started the 'tradition'. Limiting my thanks to 25 or 30 days would be impossible.

I would rather do this instead.

Someone else started it but I can do it my own way, in my own time.

There is a time for everything and a season for every activity under the heavens

Living in the country again has taught and re-taught me many things this year.

As we are in the middle of Autumn and the trees are starting to loose their leaves I find myself dreading the cold winter months.

I never before realized how important Fall is to trees and plants.
Fall is the best time to transplant, divide and prune.
The trees rob their leaves of food and fortify their roots to keep them healthy through the winter.

So, when the trees look dead in the winter they are really just sleeping and waiting.

I have enjoyed the changes day to day as new trees turn yellow, orange or red.
And sometimes the beauty of this place takes my breath away.
I have been a distracted driver more than once as I have been gazing at the colors out my car window.

But all the while in the back of my mind I have been thinking 'this is not going to last, it is only a short season, so enjoy it to the fullest, winter will be here before you know it.'

And I wish I could learn that lesson in life.

That each season has it's beauty and won't last forever.

And it seems that each time I get used to a season it begins to change.

For two weeks we have been receiving final records and official papers marking Tracy's retirement. The first retirement check came in the mail yesterday and as we turn the corner into this new season of life I am filled with anticipation as well as a bit of fear.

There are so many unique things about our life right now and this year has been a time of change, growth and pruning.

As the trees get ready for their long winter's rest we will be diligently trying to finish this building project and adjusting to so many things new.

I will try to enjoy it all.

To look for the beauty in it and to remind myself that this is only a season and it won't last forever.

¹ There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under the heavens:

² a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
³ a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
⁴ a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
⁵ a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
⁶ a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
⁷ a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
⁸ a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.

Ecclesiates 3:1-8

Finally Pictures......

oops.......

Okay.

The pictures that were supposed to be in that last post are not there and I don't know why and I don't know how to fix it so I am going to post the pictures separately. Yes, I know that was a run on sentence but sometimes that is the only way to express how I feel.

We worked so hard last week to finish the front of the house.

Tracy put up the siding on the gable on Thursday and I cut soffit for him on Friday and he was able to get that done Friday morning. Then Friday evening he and I stained the front of the garage. I think you can barely make out the walk board still up in front of the garage.
I know what I don't want to do for a living-that walk board is scary when you get up high.
Needless to say we worked fast at the top.

The trees are just starting to change color in these pictures and there is no real way to capture the beauty of our woods. It is a glorious to walk back through them now with all the colorful trees and the leaves that are starting to fall.

The road in front of our house at sunset. There is a red barn to the right of this picture and horses in the field bound by the white fence.

Our sunroom and back gable of the garage still need siding and trim but we are so happy that we have accomplished so much.
The back of the house and the side of the house with the sun room still need to be stained but we will get to it eventually. The house was already stained so it is not a really big deal if it takes a while to get it done-we just have to live in a house of two different colors.

But that is the least of our worries.

The drywall guys should be finished this week or early next week (we hope). They came today and put the first coat of 'mud' on the walls. There are two more coats to come and then sanding.
So, I may be optimistic if I think they will be finished by the beginning of next week.
Then the painting of the interior walls will begin.
We are motivated though and that will be the fun part since we have spent weeks choosing colors for our new rooms.

And, of course, buying lights and choosing carpet is always fun.

The new gas stove Tracy installed a couple of weeks ago.
We love it and it heats the entire great room, kitchen and loft.
We decided against a wood burning stove or fireplace since the girls and I have allergies.

The view from the front porch one afternoon last week.

Those trees that are in the sunlight in this picture are starting to change color right now and it is so much fun to watch the view change from day to day.
The reds and oranges are beautiful this year.
We have four little maple trees along the road that we planted the first year we built the cabin. Two of them have grown a lot but the other two have lagged behind. A couple of years ago they both looked like they were dead or dying but we left them and they have come back and are healthy this year.
They are all orange right now.

I really didn't realize how much I had missed being here in Virginia in the fall. And being able to be near so many things that are alive has been wonderful. Things grow so well here. Tracy had a couple of tomato plants sprout up just from some tomatoes that were thrown out. They just popped up and thrived with no help or care. They even produced fruit!
We have put out 'critter' food and put bird seed in our feeder. There are so many different birds and lots of cute chipmunks, grey squirrels, fox squirrels and even a southern flying squirrel. We haven't seen any deer for a couple of weeks but wild turkey have been spotted and yesterday morning I heard them at about 5 a.m.

I just can't help feeling so close to the Lord, so at peace, and so content here.
Even though there is so much to do.
It gives me joy.

God made the country and man made the town. William Cowper


Edited to add-the pictures for this blog did not load and I just don't want to fix it all so the pictures are in a separate blog.

Okie

We have tried to visit Tracy's grandmother every Sunday since we have been living here. We have missed a couple of weeks but have gone frequently enough that she expects us each Sunday evening.

And because I think she is one of the most interesting people I have ever met, as well as one of the most fun, I thought I would write a bit about her.

She is 93 and has a memory and a personality that are enviable. She is so fun to be with and always make us laugh with her witty comments. She delights in her family and loves good food. And she remembers people and details about them.

She went through chemo and survived cancer in her sixties. Then a few years later she started losing her sight and learned she had glaucoma and cataracts. That is when she stopped driving and began to stay home almost constantly. But she would still read her Bible every night.

Then she began to be afraid to stay at home alone and her daughters started staying the night with her. Eventually she was too blind to cook for herself anymore and they felt it would be dangerous for her to stay alone all day so they started taking turns staying with her during the day as well.

It was during this time that they began to notice some odd behaviors and thought she may be developing dementia. Then her head started to hurt constantly and they took her to the doctor and a CT scan was ordered. The scan revealed a mass that was pressing on the frontal lobe of her brain. The doctors said she was too old for surgery and the family should just keep her medicated until death. Tracy's mother and her sister would not accept that as an answer and pushed for surgery.

After the surgery she was sent home and was recovering well. Then she began to have symptoms of mini-strokes on her left side and was in pain again. They immediately took her to the hospital and it was revealed that oxygen was penetrating the surgical site and getting into her brain, (apparently this causes stroke like activity). So, she had a second surgery to repair the site.

She is fully recovered now and when we visit she is sometimes shaking rugs and often washes the dishes. She takes all of her glass and porcelain out of the china cabinets about once a month and washes it, then puts it back with no help. And she also washes the windows.
All blind. (I find this so interesting and inspiring because she can't see the dust or dirt on the glass but she is fastidious and disciplined and wants to be a good steward of the things the Lord has blessed her with).

Usually when we go to visit she is sitting on the couch and we do have to talk a bit louder than normal since she is a bit deaf but wears a hearing aid.
And she is always happy to see us.

She is the only grandmother Tracy or I have left alive and we enjoy hearing her tell us about the Great depression or family long passed on. Sometimes she gets spirited about a Bible doctrine she believes or politics or how parents don't discipline their children but she always ends with a laugh. And she tells us regularly how she is longing for heaven.

I really regret not spending more time with her over the years. Not getting to know her better or discussing the Bible with her more often. She has so much wisdom and such a loving, joyful spirit.

Trying to make up for lost time in relationships has really brought home to me that it takes time to build a strong relationship. I want to cram as much as I can into the time I have but sometimes you just can't do that. Sometimes you just have to walk through life together for relationships to form.

I am so glad that Tracy loves his grandmother the way he does and that he wants to make time for her. An old woman sitting alone in her house with no visitors but her children and occasionally a grandchild. No one from the church she attended for 30 years ever visits and many of her friends are dead.
She can't see and won't go anywhere but to the doctor.

Ever.

Yet she is joyful and fun and caring and thoughtful and asks about people when they visit.

She is an inspiration to me and I am so glad my daughters are getting to know her better and to spend time with her.

Two scriptures come to my mind when I think of her:

Though He slay me, yet will I trust Him. Job 13:15

and

A merry heart does good, like medicine, But a broken spirit dries the bones.
Proverbs 17:22

If you are reading this...................

Drywall guys are here! (applause)

But....we are having trouble finding help to put on siding.

Oh you are so clever, you guessed it before I wrote it.

I will be helping with siding.

BIG, BIG, SIGH.

Really I don't think it will be as bad as putting in insulation.

That was horrible and itchy and my sinuses still haven't recovered. Those wonderful high ceilings will be great when our stuff comes and we will have lots of storage space over the garage doors.

But when you have to put the insulation up you curse the day you built them so high.

I am really sorry that my posts seem so random and all it seems I am posting is updates to the remodel/build on to the house. That is just how mushy my brain is lately. I am doing physical work that has left me no time for coherent thought.

Except one.

I will be glad when this project is over.

I hope to post pictures later today or tomorrow.

We are having a 'real' Fall!

The temperature was in the 40s last night and today it is in the 60s. The trees are turning and leaves are falling--oh I love Fall!
The mountains are beautiful this time of year and the sky is so clear. I love the view from our front porch!

We have a terrific view of White Top Mt. from our porch so on Sunday we drove up to see the view from there. It is about the same elevation as Denver, CO and it is so interesting to see the difference in the Rocky Mts. and Appalachian Mts. at that elevation. There are more deciduous trees on White Top and lots of beautiful undergrowth. It was a lot like the Redwood forest in California, except not nearly as big. The ferns and moss were beautiful under the trees. There is also a 'bald' spot where people hike to the side of the mountain and the view is gorgeous. We are going again on Sunday afternoon to hike since we had not gone prepared to do that last Sunday.

It has been a very long week. Tracy had a spot of skin cancer removed from his temple on Monday. We were at the Dr's office for three hours and he now has another lovely scar to go with his others.

I painted the garage doors and the exterior doors on Wednesday with help from my momma. We had a great time and the doors look really good.

Siding was delivered yesterday and Tracy is excited to get started on it. I dread staining it but I am really anxious to see what the exterior will look like when it is finished.

The building inspector came this week, and we passed, so Tracy could move on to the insulation. YUCK! It was so hot the first day he worked in it but yesterday and today have been much cooler.

And our little kitten died.
I think we all knew she wouldn't live long but it was a shock. She had been doing so well, and was playful and kitten like, then we found her having seizures. It was very sad. The veterinarian had told me that sometimes a mother cat will reject a kitten because she knows they won't live or have something wrong with them that we just can't see. I think that was probably the case with Elsie. But we loved her, and made her comfortable, and did all we could for her, so we are at peace. Tracy and Anna buried her in the woods and Anna made her a little grave marker.

So...things are still moving along here. I don't think I have been this busy in many years. There is always SO much to do.

Oh! and we went to the County Fair! It was the first time we had been to this one in at least twenty years. It was lots of fun to see the exhibits and the animals. Tracy talked to tractor salesmen but we are still undecided about the type of tractor to buy.

This is a great article by Steve Saint.

It sums up how Tracy and I feel about short term missions and how western Christians go into a country and think they know what is best for the people there.
I particularly like what he says about orphanages.

Doors

The really big challenge for me was making the transition from high school to college. People with autism have tremendous difficulty with change. In order to deal with a major change such as leaving high school, I needed a way to rehearse it, acting out each phase in my life by walking through an actual door, window, or gate. When I was graduating from high school, I would go and sit on the roof of my dormitory and look up at the stars and think about how I would cope with leaving. It was there I discovered a little door that led to a bigger roof while my dormitory was being remodeled. While I was still living in this o1d New England house, a much larger building was being constructed over it. One day the carpenters tore out a section of the o1d roof next to my room. When I walked out, I was now able to look up into the partially finished new building. High on one side was a small wooden door that led to the new roof. The building was changing and it was now time for me to change too. I could relate to that. I had found the symbolic key.
From Thinking in Pictures by Dr. Temple Grandin expanded edition 2006

I keep thinking of this quote as we are in this major transition of life.

We are closing the door on our Military Life. On the life of moving and deployments and TDYs and uniforms and haircuts.

And opening the door to home in one place, moving if we want to and not because we have to, tractors and gardens, and civilian employment.

I am not autistic, nor do I think visually, but I love the analogy of the door and find myself better able to transition when I think in analogies.

Rainy Days and Mondays always get me down.

Talkin' to myself and feelin' old
Sometimes I'd like to quit
Nothing ever seems to fit
Hangin' around
Nothing to do but frown
Rainy Days and Mondays always get me down.

What I've got they used to call the blues
Nothin' is really wrong
Feelin' like I don't belong
Walkin' around
Some kind of lonely clown
Rainy Days and Mondays always get me down.

From Rainy Days and Mondays by The Carpenters

Sigh~


It rained all day today. The plumbers finished today and we got the
window out of the laundry room and put it in the garage. Tracy also
finished framing the hall and pantry walls. He got the door cut out
yesterday and things are progressing.

But I am a bit blue.

This has been a very hard move for us. So many things have happened
this year and we just haven't had time to really enjoy many of the
good things.

Tracy's retirement will be official on October 1 and it has been hard to
adjust to the fact that we won't be going back to 'that' life. For 20
years we have come here to Virginia for a visit and then returned to
our military life somewhere else. All summer it has felt like we
would be packing up any day and going home. Then the girls started
school and it really hit that we weren't leaving.

This is home now.
We really don't have to move unless we want to. That is hard to get used to. And in the times we might want to move it is hard to be content that we won't be leaving all our troubles behind.

And what am I learning through all of the changes and frustrations and waiting?
I am realizing all over again that contentment is not in your circumstances but in your heart. I am learning that it's okay not to be in a hurry all the time. I am remembering to enjoy the journey because I know I won't get those moments back again.
I really long to be like the Apostle Paul and say:

Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me.
Philippians 4:11-13



Now I realize that I have never suffered persecutions or trials as great as so many have and do each day.

But I want to glorify God in the little moments of each day.

And that can be hard when the sun doesn't come out all day.
I am trying to keep thinking of the things that will grow after the rain, both literally and figuratively.

I have tried to edit this post and can't without rewriting the entire thing (not happening). Sometimes Blogger frustrates me. Please forgive the awkward line breaks-they are not intentional.

Three random things that are making me very happy

• Tracy accepted the job offer!

He is so excited and we are especially happy that the timing worked out so well. He may just have time to finish the house project before he starts training but, if not, he will have the majority of work finished by day one on the job.

• The kitten we adopted is getting better!

First I must say that I did not want a cat. Anna and I are allergic to them and can not have them in the house. However, we can have one outside here and did have one until about a week ago. It had been my Mom's cat and is sweet and pretty. She is a neat cat that actually climbed the ladder to the upstairs rooms over the new garage-climbed the ladder and jumped up there. We really liked her and I wanted to keep her here BUT she started roaming to other people's houses. That shouldn't be a problem unless you have neighbors who just don't like cats or are mean to them. So my parents took her to their house where they are going to keep her and they will let her stay inside some there.

So....that said, Anna took pity on a little kitten that had been rejected by it's mother. She was a runt and was very likely going to die. She was also VERY sick. She had many, many problems and the first night she was extremely listless and weak.
Honestly, I just thought we would be making her comfortable until she died and I couldn't say no to Anna's pity and compassion. The second day she was here we fed her regularly and by the third day she was a bit stronger so I took her the vet. The vet gave her a special high protein food, some antibiotics, and other medication and sent us home with a wait and see approach. The vet bill was not that expensive and she gave us something else that was priceless--Hope. She couldn't find any internal problems and said since she had already started to recover her strength without medication she may yet survive.
So, unless things change and she stops improving, we have a kitten.
She is much better today so we finally named her L.C. (for Lost Cause) and pronounce it as Elsie.

• Doors and windows are in and we are getting close to finishing this major project!

This is where the Hallelujah chorus would play if I had a soundtrack.
We have been waiting for what seems like an eternity for the doors and windows. Work had to slow down a bit until they were installed and I wanted to see my sun room with the windows!
It is beautiful!
I love it!
It will still be a day or so until the garage doors are installed but work on the bedroom addition can be done. The exterior wall that will be a hall into the bedroom hasn't been cut out yet. And the bath tub that has to be moved out of the future hallway has to be put into the new master bath so that the plumbers can finish their work this weekend.

Hopefully I will get a few pictures up in the next few days.

Windows and Doors

I have windows in my sun room!

It was amazing how fast they were installed. Now they are working on the doors.
It really is an exciting day!

Fall is here.

The leaves are starting to change and there is still so much to do to finish our house.

The weather here is still comfortable during the day and the evenings are getting cooler. I have been told it is a great time for planting flowers and trees. Our work on the house has slowed a bit the last week since we were waiting on the doors and windows to arrive and had to locate wood siding to match the true log part of the house. By tomorrow evening the garage and added rooms should start to look like what they are intended to be instead of ply-wood shacks on each side of the house.

We are almost finished with all the big decisions and only have a few more things to decide upon. I am so tired of going to home improvement stores and walking the aisles searching for something or trying to decide on an item. It really is exhausting to design, plan, build, and make all the interior decorating decisions for a home.

Not to mention the outside-landscaping, gardening, etc. Because we had so many trees removed, and had to have new grading done to keep water away from the house now that there are less trees, there is lots of landscaping to do. Just spreading grass seed and covering it with straw and keeping it watered has worn us out this week.

And we also built a walk out of stepping stones and landscaped around it this week.

And there is always the mowing and weed eating. My Daddy has graciously mowed and cut weeds all summer for us which has helped us out tremendously. He has really been wonderful about it and does such a great job.

Tracy was offered the job he interviewed for today. We are a bit excited and the timing is ideal. It seems like it would be a great job and one he would enjoy. He would be traveling some but he has done that our whole lives so that is not such a big issue.

I know my blogging has been very sporadic this summer and it probably will continue to be until the house is finished. It is exciting to be this close to finishing it.

We are finally starting to feel at home here and the girls are really enjoying their classes a the Community College. Sarah played the harp and Anna the piano at the Chamber of Commerce breakfast this month. They did beautifully and made some contacts in the community. I think they like the small town feel here and they are really appreciating the change of seasons this year.

Seasons changing

Today is the first day of school for the local children. Half of August is gone and time is whizzing by. Sarah and Anna start classes at the Community College on Monday. We have kept them busy all summer painting, staining, cleaning, nailing, building walkways and being gophers (oh my-those daily trips to Lowes).

There has been SO much accomplished on the remodel/addition in the last week. The concrete was poured in the garage and breezeway, the grading is finished and we can actually park in the driveway again, the roofers are finishing the shingles today, the steps and walls are up in the back bedroom and mostly complete in the 'apartment' over the garage. We ordered doors and windows, the new kitchen counter tops are coming today, half of a lovely paving stone walk is complete and we got some landscaping done in front of the house by the steps.

Shew--it makes me tired just to type all that.

It has been a stressful year so far and there as been little rest for us. Living in a construction zone is not fun, especially because everywhere you look something is in the partial stage of remodel.

Tracy interviewed for a job working with wounded soldiers in a mental health setting and was offered the job. On the same day he was also contacted by the company he really wants to fly medical evacuation with and asked to interview.

So...he turned the job offer down and is pursuing a position flying. He seems very excited about that and I just want him to follow his heart and be happy in whatever he ends up doing.

We are almost adjusted here but we still have no church and that is hard. We have visited three and one seems like it could work but it is big and farther away than I would like.

Fall is in the air, it won't be long until the trees start to change color and the flowers start to die. The stores are starting to sell Chrysanthemums-a sure sign of cooler weather. I am anxious for Sarah and Anna to see the fall color of the blue ridge and to experience fall in a farming community-the apple festival, the tobacco festival and apple butter making!

More pictures......

From the back of the house.

Where the swing and climbing tree used to be. We were sad that the swing tree was cut down. When it fell it broke the limb in the tree beside of it that we were going to hang a new swing on.

Rear view again and we are really anxious for the grading here as well.

The new bedroom.

Finally.....Pictures!

Measure twice drill once. That is the new microwave/convection oven combo that we are in love with in the foreground. It should have been an easy job to install it but we didn't have a cabinet over it. Tracy built a makeshift one that will do until the new one is ordered and delivered. Did I mention that we absolutely love the new oven?

This was just so pretty I had to post it. Hydrangeas from my Momma's flower garden.

Anna's newly painted nightstand. Sea glass and yellow, a lovely combination and the colors she has decided on for her new room.

What will be the sun room when the windows and doors are installed. Right now it is a great tool shed. Even though it looks terrible I am very thankful for it-and to have those tools out of the living room.

The front view of the house. We love the steps and have really been glad they were built first since the other doors are in construction zones. Notice also how brown the grass is turning. That is in part because we have been parking in front of the house on the grass and we really need rain. It has been extremely hot and humid here and miserable for working outside.

We love the new screen door. It is wonderful when we sit on the porch in the morning.

Front view of sun room.

Garage with two walls built. Hopefully it won't be long until we get the grading finished and can get some gravel to cover the nasty red clay. It can be a mess after it rains or in the morning when the dew is on the ground and the dogs walk through it.

Garage.

There are still lots of trees to be cut up for firewood and the brush cleared. It has just been so very hot that no one has wanted to work on that.

Garage and new master bedroom from the back. Like the sun room the bedroom has no window holes cut yet.

Behind the house. There used to be many trees here.

This is at the back of the property, deep in the woods. It is where all the stumps are buried.

I saw this tree on my walk through the woods--a pileated wood pecker made the holes.

To be continued..................

Slow life

Last night we hung the newly painted swings and sat on the front porch.

It was delightful.

Anna brought out the guitar to play a song for my parents and then after they left she played and sang for a while.

That led to her coming inside and playing the piano for about an hour. Then Sarah played the harp for another hour or so.

It was so peaceful and nice.

I love to hear them play and sing and enjoy the gifts and abilities the Lord has given them.

Go to the ant, you sluggard; consider its ways and be wise! Proverbs 6:6

We started staining the front of the house.

And I am really not sure if I like the color.

But now it is mostly finished so I guess I will have to learn to like it.

And yes-I do remember that the last time we stained the house I said I would never do it again.
It is a hot, miserable, tedious, sticky, exhausting job.

While we have been staining we have missed going out to sit on the porch swing and drink our morning coffee. When we took the porch swing down I painted it and another one to match. They are sitting on the deck teasing and motivating me to hurry and finish the staining so we can hang them up and get back to spending our mornings together.

It won't be long now and when this side of the house is finished we will be a quarter of the way finished and will start the next project......

The sun room. Or Florida room as it is referred to here in Southwest Virginia.

Then I will get the privilege of staining it as well.

And it really will be a privilege. I have begged and pleaded for a sun room for years and my sweet husband is building it first-oh I feel so loved and pampered.

Actually I think he has an alternative motive for building it first. He needs somewhere dry to store his tools and other building apparatus and where better than a sun room?

Really it will work well. I won't have tools and trim and extension cords in my living room OR on the newly stained front porch. And it will only be until the garage is under roof.

Oh and...... we have someone here laying block for the foundation of the addition!

Hi ho, hi ho, it's off to work I go..............

Another pictureless update.....

What do bulldozers, concrete trucks, and chainsaws have in common?

They have all made a very noisy appearance here on our lovely and usually peaceful property, this week. We had 8-10 trees removed via bulldozer and backhoe--quite an amazing sight to see. Then the grading for the footer and new addition began. We have lots of red clay that was used to build up the pad for the garage and is being used to grade the driveway. A big hole will be dug at the back of the property and all of the VERY big tree stumps will be buried there.

It is actually starting to feel like we are going to see some construction soon.

Oh, the concrete truck. It is here pouring the footers.
So now we just pray it doesn't rain until the concrete cures and that we can find someone to lay the block for the foundation. Tracy has hinted at us doing it ourselves.
I really, really don't want to.

And of course the chainsaws have been going cutting up the trees that were removed. A log guy (I don't know what to call him) came and got the really big oaks and maples. He took them to a sawmill and we get half of what they pay him. He got one load and was really weighed down--some of those trees were enormous. Then he came back the next day and got another half load. That is when the chainsaws started and they have been going off and on ever since. There were several smaller trees left behind (smaller than 10in in diameter, and bases too awkward to cut neatly for lumber) so it will take awhile to get them cut up. Thankfully we can burn the brush and small twigs and limbs.

While we were waiting for the digging to be completed, Sarah and I pressure washed the front of the house and porch. I hope to get the staining done this weekend. I bought a airless paint sprayer and I am anxious about using it. It looks fun and easy but I know better than that.

So, other than our living room being turned into a storage room for Tracy's tools and other things that can't get wet and can't be on the porch because I will be staining, life is practically normal.

Okay, not really, but I can pretend. And honestly, I have to accept this chaos as normal for a season.

The monsoon season.

Yep-it's raining.

Learning to be patient

Since my trip to Colorado to accompany my dear husband on the drive back to Virginia our life has been topsey-turvey.

We drove for two very long days, rested a day, and then drove to the beach for a much needed vacation with our daughters.

While we were there my mom called to tell us that the graders had arrived to remove the trees that were in the way of the building project.

So we came home to a mess in the back yard, two happy dogs and clean house-thanks momma.

Noah drove up from Nashville for the 4th of July and we coerced him into helping build steps off the front porch. My sister Heather came down with her two kids to visit and we had a nice weekend.

Now we are settled and Tracy is waiting for the graders to finish removing trees and get the pad ready for concrete so he can get busy with the building.

But while he is waiting he is quickly making his way through the honey-do list.

And I am selecting new countertops, new kitchen appliances, paint samples, and making decisions about flooring in the new addition.

Fun, but extremely frustrating and, occasionally, overwhelming. There have been times when I have gone to the store to look at samples and after standing there and looking for awhile leaving more undecided than when I went in.

We are all very anxious to get this building project going-we definitely need a garage. Currently we have tools and all manner of 'stuff' on our front porch to keep them out of the weather.

And at the rate I have been going barefoot in the rain and working on creating a new front flower garden--I guess we are falling into the 'hillbilly' stereotype.

It is just so hard to wait when you want something so badly. Waiting for inspectors, for graders, for the weather........
You would think we would know how to wait well after so many years in the military where the unofficial motto is 'hurry up and wait'.

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. Galatians 5:22-23

I read this devotional this morning and I realized that I am so anxious because I trying to make my own little heaven here on earth.

It's human nature to want to control our own space and to create and glory in our own work. When there is so much to do it is really hard to slow down and pace yourself so that you enjoy the work as much as the end product.

We live in a farming community now and it really seems that no one gets in a hurry.

Patience.

That word is peaceful and hateful at the same time. If the fruit of the spirit were in a garden, patience and self-control would be the most difficult to cultivate.

If we live by the Spirit, let us also walk by the Spirit. Galatians 5:25

So, if you are driving along and see a log cabin with a bunch of stuff on the front porch, a barefoot woman in a flower garden out front, and a huge pile of dirt in the back yard with trees lying all around be careful before you make a judgement.

She may be learning to walk by the Spirit in her barefeet.

Building project update:

Last week Tracy's brother Les got started on our project. He installed a new power conduit and wired it to a new breaker box inside the house. He also arranged for the heating and air conditioning units to be moved about six feet to get them out of the way of the new addition.

The men who will be doing the grading at the back of the house also paid us a visit.
And we found out they will be able to remove all the trees and the stumps.

On Thursday the building inspector came, stuck a sticker on the work and we were moving ahead.....or so we thought.
Tracy called to have the power company come move their line from the old conduit to the new one and found out the inspector hadn't yet sent the information and approval to the company.

So the waiting continues...........

I fly to Colorado tomorrow to meet up with my beloved husband and accompany him on the drive from Colorado to Virginia-again. I am hoping that while I am gone the power will be moved and the trees cleared.

One can always hope.........

The original plan was to put another breaker box beside the existing one but there are pipes all through the wall. So, the new box is behind the door--I kind of like that better because it can be hidden when the door is open.

And while I'm hoping, I also hope to keep the blog up to date with details and pictures as we go.

The Retirement Move

On the road again......sights on the way from Colorado to Virginia. Hopefully this is our last move ever.



Everything that we think necessary to life is in that truck and trailer. A lot? or not much? I guess it depends on whether you are packing it or trying to fit in a trailer.

We weren't sure all of it would fit. In the end we were able to take more than we planned. Tracy is such a great mover! And amazingly, nothing was broken, scratched or damaged.

Everyone had such great attitudes the entire time! Working can be so much fun with happy hearts.